Awaken To Your Truth

To have a loving relationship with yourself and to become emotionally honest, open and trusting of yourself, you must first make friends with truth. When you have a healthy relationship with truth, self-trust naturally follows and you begin to cultivate strong patterns and habits of self-love within yourself which affects your relationships in a healthy, positive way.

Here are 19 ways to tell the truth to yourself and in your relationships.

1. Who you think you are is important. Like attracts like. Do you like who you are? Self esteem is a choice.

2. What you want in a relationship is important. When you are willing to ask for it without shame, you will be able to create it. But only ask for what you want when you are clear about what it is. Until then, don't go around demanding things you just think you should have. Show emotional maturity.

3. We get what we focus on. The problem or the solution. Make a choice between them and decide.

4. Tell yourself the truth about what you want, not what others (family, friends, spouse) want and need from you.

5. Tell everyone else your truth about what you want. Don't be afraid to share your vision and dreams.

6. Get clear on how you define your self-worth. Is your worth based on intrinsic soul-level characteristics like kindness, compassion, passion, and the desire to learn (internal) or career, car, what family and friends say (external)? It's wonderful to have material things and enjoy life tot he fullest but do you derive your self-worth from them?

7. Interdependent (two independent functional people) relationships are the only ones that work, long term. Why? because they are whole, honest, communicative, expressive and speak their truth wisely.

8. Truth creates trust in our relationships. Respect is earned from trust, and love is earned from respect. Intimacy is the gift we get when we risk telling the truth.

9. Fear of intimacy is fear of the truth. Own your truth. Know your sense of self, where you begin and where you end. Then you will understand someone else's truth and if it aligns with your core self, values and your life.

10. Speak up for your needs. You have many emotional, physical, sexual, mental, safety and spiritual needs that need to be met by yourself and your partner. Be honest about what your needs are and communicate them to your loved ones.

11. Every relationship is unique. If you want it to work, you and your partner both have to work at it.

12. Have strong, healthy boundaries and communicate what you will or will not accept. It's not your job to fix your mate, and it's not his or her job to fix you. The love you deserve is the love you accept. Emotionally healthy and secure people who value you will respect and honor your boundaries.

13. Unconditional love is an inside job. Start working from within. More self-love and less self-abandonment, judging, criticizing, withdrawal, shutting down, controlling, passive aggression, jealousy and possessiveness.

14. If you both are committed to creating a healthy, mutually fulfilling relationship, agree to start doing it today, without any judgments about the past. Be willing to work on the solution and let go of your need to control the outcome, moment to moment, one day at a time. Joy can only be experienced in the present moment.

15. Most of our fears about what may happen in a relationship are really fears we experienced in past relationships and have nothing to do with this person. Come to grips with lessons you've learned from the past and new habits, behaviors and truths you can practice NOW with your new level of self-awareness.

16. Nurture your self-esteem. To improve your mental health, adopt the habit of regarding your self-esteem as an ‘emotional immune system’ that needs to be nurtured back to health when it’s declining. The best way to ‘heal’ damaged self-esteem is to practice self-love, self-worth and self-compassion.

17. Practice self-compassion. When you have self-critical thoughts, how would you speak to a dear friend who had similar feelings? Write out what you would say to them in an email if you wanted to express compassion and support. Say those compassionate and supportive things to yourself constantly.

18. Any negative, hurtful or sarcastic remark is abusive. Please consider the source and the outcome of your remarks, before you open you mouth to tell your truth. Journal anger and express yourself first. When you get to a place of calmness, communicate your needs and wants with the other person to work through conflict.

19. Express how much your relationship and partner mean to you. Never take a moment for granted. Express how grateful you are for your good fortune. Appreciation and gratitude are magical. The more we express gratitude, the more reasons we are given to say thank you.


What is a healthy relationship?

With the beginning base of truth in a relationship, trust can occur. With the development of trust, respect develops. With a level of respect for another, a functional relationship of love will nourish the partners. Then, intimacy occurs because we are willing to share our whole selves with another in this order. Intimacy is the gift we get when we learn to engage in a balanced, loving, healthy and mutually fulfilling relationship.

INTIMACY
LOVE
RESPECT
TRUST
TRUTH

To have a healthy relationship with yourself and others, you have to be willing to risk losing the other person every day, by telling your truth. If you don't feel free to tell your truth, start asking yourself why you think it's so important to stay, and what else you are willing to lose besides your self-esteem. Catering to other people's needs and wants at the expense of your own desires is insanity. It's an unhealthy behavior and damages self-esteem. Constantly, go inside yourself and be honest with you first. Next, ask your partner to tell their truth, and be willing to accept it at face value, with no judgment. Now you both get to know if you each want a relationship based on what's real and can accept based on shared desires and values.